If you wish to add your comments to this list please send them to: earl@alfredadler.edu.

Date:

6/26/2004

Time:

2:36:55 PM

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Comments

"Take a whack" followed by an infectious laugh.. Bob leaves people with something..the realization that life is meaningful and there is always hope. I have been blessed to know Bob, and to have been educated by him through texts, insights and casual conversation. Adlerian psychology IS Bob Bartholow. Adler would be proud to sit in on one of Bob's classes! Social interest all over the place (not to mention the student sponsored buffets of treat on Saturday classes followed by a short button box performance) I want to deeply thank Bob for his kind and encouraging example. He is an inspiration to all who know him. I only wish he had the chance to see his contributions through the eyes of one of his grateful students... michelle saari

Date:

6/26/2004

Time:

4:07:22 PM

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Comments

Bob's easy manner and inclusive style of teaching made each class a joy, and, to my mind, he embodied and lived the Adler spirit. Thank you, Bob, for your words of wisdom and gentle encouragement. Fondly, Martha Warner

Date:

6/26/2004

Time:

4:19:03 PM

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Bob Bartholow was my first professor when I started my Master's at the Adler Graduate School in Minneapolis (at that time it was the Adler Institute). I took several of his classes and enjoyed them very much. He advised me to pursue a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Capella University. Thank you, Bob, for your encouragement! Rachelle Lisogurski

Date:

6/26/2004

Time:

9:23:31 PM

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Encouragement! Encouragement! Encouragement! Bob, you've influenced youth for ten-plus years through MY work with students in Minneapolis Public Schools. When I studied with you at Adler I had no intention of returning to teaching. But, as life has a way of happening while one is planning something else, an opportunity presented itself and I "took a whack at it" and have daily used Adlerian principles and teaching techniques I learned from you. Working with "dis-couraged" children in inner-city schools, I find that, just as you modeled when teaching me, they succeed when they are encouraged. Thank you for your knowledge, your inspiration, and your encouragement. May you find peace. Dee Dege

Date:

6/26/2004

Time:

10:12:57 PM

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Bob, You were my first introduction to Adlerian theory, graduate school, and being "good enough". I will always admire not only how much you believe in what you teach, but also that you live what you believe. Thank you for being an inspiration. Jennifer Kokes, student

Date:

6/27/2004

Time:

11:35:45 AM

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You always taught with humor, respect, and grace. You lived Adlerian principles and gave others the courage to try. I hear your voice especially when I find myself being rigid (out of fear) and when I am being self righteous that "it can always be different". I thank God we met. Thank you for being a great teacher, mentor, and friend. Sue Bitney

Date:

6/27/2004

Time:

4:10:27 PM

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As many others at Adler, I feel especially fortunate to have Bob in many classes, including my very first class, Intro to Adlerian. I remember feeling so energized at my decision to go to grad school. During that first class with Bob, I remember the feeling of warmth. To spend the end of Saturday class to celebrate Bob's 80th birthday in January 2003, and to hear him play the accordian was definitely not a waste of time!! This brought back memories of the few times my grandmother would play her favorite polkas on her accordian. Since she played only those few times for us, we now insist my mother play the same accordian at family gatherings or simple weekend afternoons when we go to visit. I will always hold accordian players in a special place in my heart! Thanks for the music and memories, Bob!!

Date:

6/27/2004

Time:

5:53:48 PM

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Dear Bob, I want to thank you for all your contributions furthering the principles of Alfred Adler. You showed me by your actions, and deeds what Adler was talking about, giving me an opportunity to model after two great men. Your selfless-ness, your wit, your dedication to your students was truly inspirational, and I will always keep that memory of how I wish to be "good enough" to be like you in my practice. Truly, Bob, you are in fact, much, much more than good enough, but I think that is the highest form of honor you can give another, that they are good enough. Thanks for sharing that. To Bob's family, I am grateful that you shared Bob with all of us student's throughout the years. It is a testamonial to the amount of love and grace that your family has shown to the teachings. Thank you for all those times that you shared your husband and father with others, when I'm certain that your needs were pressing. I, and I think I can speak for other students in this regard, thank you profusely for your sacrifices. I wish you well. Mark Daniels, Class of '05.

Date:

6/27/2004

Time:

7:43:41 PM

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Dear Bob: I miss you at the dances, and of course, in the classroom. You are an inspiration to me and I will pray for your recovery. God bless and thank you for being such a wonderful instructor and educator. Sincerely, Marilyn Murphy

Date:

6/27/2004

Time:

9:10:20 PM

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Dear Bob, I want to take this opportunity to express my high regard for your enormous contributions to the Adlerian movement — here in Minnesota particularly, but also throughout North America and beyond. When I think of all the Minnesota Adlerian pioneers, I realize that your contributions have occurred over a longer period of time and been more consistently expressed than have any of the others. I remember my first class from you when we still were known as MINSIP. The class was held in St George’s Episcopal Church in St. Louis Park. I think Dwight Towns may have been in that class as well. (I still have my notes.) I also remember sharing a room with you at the NASAP convention in the Lodge on Mount Hood. That must have been in 1972. I also remember a meeting at the Oak Wood Country Club at which time Bill Pew invited several of us to start the Alfred Adler Institute of Minnesota. When you and Bob Willhite started your private practices, I was encouraged to do the same. You have always encouraged my involvement at Adler as well as my writing. Thanks for all your contributions to the lives of so many. I keep you and Ruth in my prayers and ask that the healing power of Christ’s love might be fully known, felt and experienced during these difficult times. With great appreciation, Tom Wright

Date:

6/27/2004

Time:

11:15:19 PM

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Dear Bob, Your warm and welcoming presence made my entry into graduate school and a new field feel very exciting and very doable(that encouragement stuff works!). Someone once asked, "How do you change the world?" The response was, "One person at a time." I am one of hundreds who have been touched by you and we go on to touch thousands through the wisdom of your teaching and inspired by your fine example of living the principles that enrich us all. Thank you Bob. With tremendous respect and affection, Paula (Psick) Hemming

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

12:53:27 AM

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Bob was a wonderful mentor for me during my time at the Adler Graduate School. I am now completing a Phd. and know that his inspirations and love of Adlerian theory will continue to support me as I promote such principles to the future. Although I had left much of that chapter of my life in the past, persons, such as Bob, will continue to add depth and meaning to my work in psychology. I will always remember him as an uplifting, progressive educator. Jill Sisk Adler Alumni Minnetrista, Minnesota Adlernut@mchsi.com

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

8:41:13 AM

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I went to an open house on a Wednesday where Bob presented the idea of starting the next night as I would only have missed one evening of his Introduction to Adlerian Psychology class. Crazy I first thought and then went ahead and did it! What a wonderful introduction to our school and Bob's philosophy of being good enough and taking a whack. Bob's ideas will carry forward with all of us.

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

8:47:41 AM

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Bob, Your humor and positive attitude made working with you a delight! You always shed a positive light on everything and made things more possible. Your contribution to Adlerian practice has been wonderful and encouraging. I will always remember "Take a whack" Bill Premo

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

9:41:10 AM

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Bob, I remember greeting you shortly after I began taking classes at Adler. When I asked you how you were, you said, "Good enough." That one comment changed my life. I realized it was alright to be "good enough" just the way I was. It gave me permission and strength to stand in who I was, at that moment, as I strove to be more of my best self. It also encouraged me to give more to others and to be more understanding of the struggles others face. Thank you for your interview for the February Adler newsletter. It was wonderful to hear your voice again and to find that you continue to "walk the walk". Your life has made a difference in this world. Kate Moore

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

9:51:33 AM

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Bob was for me, as he was for most of us, the first one to "take a whack" at making me an Adlerian. His forgiving glee at the foibles and folly of human existence, and his exuberance over the material he taught were so infectious that I spontaneously gave him a book I had just finished reading. It was Bill Holm's "The Music of Failure", and I have wondered if he enjoyed the book. Bob's music making was clearly a passion, and I had the wonderful opportunity to accompany him on the guitar at a party. His generous, even extravagant, spirit was evident in the way he welcomed me into his music--as indeed did he welcome us all into his music, his mind, and his humor.---Jere Truer, Minneapolis, 1989 alumnus

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

12:08:26 PM

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Bob, I have so many fond memories of you and your classes - your encouraging "take a whack at it" - your good natured teasing and your taking my dishing it out back with glee - your determination that the Adler Graduate School here in Minnesota would not be merged back in with the school in Chicago - your doing doubles with me and your graciously excusing yourself from the rest of the session when my when my client made a major disclosure. You modeled horizontal relationships that are one of the hallmarks of Adlerian therapy. Priscilla Mac Dougall

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

1:00:43 PM

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Dear Bob, Words cannot really express how grateful I am to you. You encouraged me to "take a whack" at almost everything. I know I am a changed person, a better person than I was before I started at Adler, because of you. Thank you so much, Brenda Mann

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

1:26:02 PM

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Comments

I first encountered you, Bob, at the tender age of 6 when you were my father's therapist. Over the years, the impact you made on my family shaped so much of who I am. You later recruited my father to be on the board of directors for the fledgling Adler Institute, which continued to shape my family. Later, when a student at the Adler Graduate School, you helped form me yet again, this time as a young therapist. Over the last few years, you have been my colleague and fellow faculty, shaping my professional teaching life. Is there any area of my life untouched by Bob Bartholow? I hope not... With deep love and gratitude, Stacie Bigelow, Faculty and Alumni ('95).

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

2:13:16 PM

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Bob, you are probably one of the first 100 Americans whom I have met in my life, and you are definitely one of the very few people who did not 'shrink' from hearing my heavy accent and reading my broken English grammar some nine years ago -- you did understand me and made me feel understood. Later, you told me that I am a doctoral material. This remains to be seen, but one is clear: you helped me in ongoing becoming a better human material. Thank you, Marina Bluvshtein, Class'97

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

2:58:11 PM

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I took my first class at Adler from Bob. I also took a couple of other classes of his, and he was one of my internship supervisors.He was a man who truly lived the Adlerian "lifestyle". He was accepting, encouraging, and humorous. Every time I have used the term "nutty nonsense", I have always given credit to Bob, one of my favorite Adlerians.He may not have coined the phrase, but he certainly showed us how to use it!I have a hunch that there is now accordian music accompanying those harps today. Cathy Cammack,Class of '95

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

3:03:33 PM

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To the dear family of Bob Bartholow, It is with overwhelming sadness that I have learned of Bob's death. It is a sad day of all of us who have been touched by Bob. The ripple effect of Bob's impact on the world is staggering to imagine. He will live on in the hearts of those that knew him and the loving deeds that her performed here on earth. You are in my heart, thoughts, and prayers. With heartfelt sympathy, Syd Rosenberg, Adler student, 98-04

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

5:44:01 PM

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Comments

Bob's stalwart presence at NASAP is how he worked his way into my heart. Singing and laughing, sharing both personally and in presentations. I didn't know him well, but was nourished by him all the same. Humble thanks to a humble, loving man. - Erik Mansager

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

7:08:56 PM

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Barely a week after setting foot on the US soil ,I was at the Adler-nervous as can be for a new immigrant. I wondered what it would be like listening to an American instructor speak with "one of those accents" and probably get nothing. This instructor turned out to be Bob Bartholow and what a difference it made. Bob made me know that I was good enough and only needed to take a whack on stuff to survive in this place. What more did I need-Because of Bob I developed the best coping skills that an immigrant needs to survive. Am saddened by his demise but I thank God for the legacy that he leaves behind. May God comfort his family. Jael Were-current student.

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

7:59:55 PM

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Bob, Thank you for teaching me so much about myself. God bless you. Brian (an old student)

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

8:55:22 PM

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What a deep loss for all those who knew him. What an even deeper loss for those who will not have the opportunity to meet him. What precious memories. Another Adler faculty member once recounted a question that Bob had posed as part of a faculty candidate’s interview process. The potential faculty member was, of course, intelligent, insightful, quick thinking, academically sound, and a holistic thinker. Bob Bartholow’s essence was demonstrated by the question Bob raised while later discussing the candidate with the other interviewers. Bob asked, “But is he a good person”. To me, this is the essence of Bob Bartholow – a good person who spent much of his life finding and encouraging goodness in others. The only thing that softens the regret and sorrow of not being able to look forward to another one of Bob's classes is the joy experienced in the multitude of memories from the one class I did have with Bob as the teacher. Thank you and farewell, Bob. (Dave Grande)

Date:

6/28/2004

Time:

9:25:57 PM

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I want to write something profound about Bob because he has had such a profound impact on my life, but words fail me. Bob was a true Adlerian role model and mensch (good person); he encouraged me--and countless others--to "take a whack," see ourselves as "good enough," and have the "courage to be imperfect." I thank God for blessing me with the all too short time I was graced by Bob's wisdom, humor, and friendship. I will consider it an honor to continue Bob's legacy by dedicating the remainder of my schooling and career to his teachings and memory. I know both the sun and stars will shine more brightly because of Bob's presence and that he will continue to watch over and guide all of us. I pray his family will find some measure of comfort in knowing how many of us will keep Bob "alive" in our hearts and through our actions. I am forever grateful, Wendy Malinsky

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

12:04:18 AM

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I was shocked and saddened to learn of the passing of Bob. His humor and high ethical standards will be long remembered. He is going to be sorely missed by all of those whose lives he touched. I was lucky to be his student, as he changed my life with the Adlerian principles. Please, convey my deepest sympathy to his family. Rachelle Lisogurski

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

9:18:15 AM

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Comments

Bob was an angel who made a difference in my life as his client. Few people in life make such a mark on each of us as he did with so many people. Charisma, spark, warmth, pragmatic, encouraging, humorous, devoted, tender, thoughtful, incredible....quite a legacy. What a special man. Blessings to the family he spoke so tenderly and lovingly about. Rest in peace, dear Bob.

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

12:45:23 PM

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One of my fondest memories of Bob is from my first class at Adler, and with Bob. He taught us the value of the sledge hammer. During discussion many of us spent a lot of energy feeling dumb for not "getting it" fast enough. Bob said he was going to have to bring to class the (foam rubber) sledge hammer he kept in his office so we could hit ourselves over our heads (dumb student! dumb student!) and get on with the learning. When I decided to open my own practice I searched for (and found) my own sledge hammer to keep available for my clients. What wonderful, joyful perspective he gave us about the human condition!

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

1:27:12 PM

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Bob wore his Adlerian beliefs on his sleeve with great pride. He lived his life in true Adlerian style. In my opinion Bob was the "perfect" first instructor all students encountered at Adler. I had never heard of Alfred Adler until that first introduction class he taught and finished that class with an appreciation of Adler and an even greater appreciation for Bob. His belief in Adler's philosophy was genuine and contagious. Bob's noted "good enough" comment when asked how he was doing was well known by all who knew him. It is now clear to all that Bob's contributions to our lives far exceeded "good enough". Thank you very much Bob. Ben DeLong

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

3:04:33 PM

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I am saddened by the news. Thank you for writing. I did not know Bob enough to share memories with all of you, but I always thought of him as a very kind and caring person, and I enjoyed the few moments we did spend together at conventions or at ICASSI. My condolences to all of you, his friends and family. In appreciation, Eva Dreikurs Ferguson

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

3:05:58 PM

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I only really knew Bob by name and that he was a great contributor to Adlerian thinking. I liked reading the interview featured in the Feb. 2004 newsletter. Please convey my condolences to the family. Judy Sutherland

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

4:55:06 PM

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BOB WE/I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH AS AN INSTRUCTOR, EDUCATOR AND AS A PERSON. REMEMBERING YOUR PHRASES OF BEING GOOD ENOUGH AND TAKE A WHACK TO ANSWER ANY QUESTION. YOU WERE THE GREATEST PERSON WHO DID NOT JUDGE ANYONE OF WHERE YOU COME FROM OR WHO YOU ARE. I WISH BEST OF LUCKY TO YOUR FAMILY FOR THIS DIFFICULTY TIME. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. Geoffrey Gekonge

Date:

6/29/2004

Time:

6:41:39 PM

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Bob lived adlerian, for those of us who had the privilege of attending Bob's class we have been blest with the knowledge that Bob had in every word. We will miss you Bob and I hope that we can honor your memory with the work we will do ahead. Mary

Date:

6/30/2004

Time:

12:17:18 AM

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Dear Adler Students, Faculty and Friends, It was with great surprise and pleasure that my family discovered this website. Thank you for all your wonderful messages and memories. My grandmother has read through them and she found them very comforting; we all feel it underlines how his work with the Alfred Adler Graduate School is one of his greatest achievements. His life touched so many people, it impressed on us the difference one person can make. The memorial service will be on July 10 at 1 PM at Hennepin Avenue Methodist Church in Minneapolis. All are welcome. On behalf of my family, thanks again for everything. John A. Bartholow (Bob's grandson)

Date:

6/30/2004

Time:

1:33:00 PM

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I have enormous respect for Bob. He was always very kind to me and, as my elder, I will always be grateful for the respect he displayed toward me. Although I am not sure it was always justified, he treated me as a peer. Actually, Bob treated everyone with great respect. Bob was one of those people who inspired others to be better people. I know he made me want to be a better man. I could not have loved Bob more if he had been a member of my own family. Dan Haugen

Date:

6/30/2004

Time:

2:01:28 PM

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One of the dearest men in the the world has left us. There are few left with the charm and dignity of his generation. He was one of the best dancers I ever had the priviledge to dance with and his ability to entertain at the parties at my home with his accordian was amazing and always a ball. He will be so sorely missed and will leave a huge hole in this organization which will take us quite a while to fill. He was one of my good friends. Ev

Date:

6/30/2004

Time:

2:44:23 PM

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To Bob's family: I had never heard of Adlerian counseling until I began investigating schools in the area. From that first interview on I knew that Adler was where I belonged. And, then to meet Bob who exuded warmth, love and humor...what a treat! I always thought of him as charming, warm, humorous person..with a twinkle in his impish eyes! He will be missed. Sincerely, Sue Salmela '93

Date:

6/30/2004

Time:

6:46:14 PM

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I was so sad to hear of Bob's death. I know how dearly he loved and is loved by his family and his students. He is everything that Adlerian principles speak of. His wisdom will not be lost, because he passed it on to so many of us. It is now our responsibility, as former students, to carry on the legacy of his teaching. As a student I took every class Bob taught and hung on every word he spoke. I think of him each time I go to the boundary waters camping and canoeing and I always will. Bob, I would like to say that the way you lived your life was "good enough", but it was much more than that. Margie Lewis

Date:

6/30/2004

Time:

9:06:33 PM

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The greatest instructor I have ever had. Henry W. Conner Jr.

Date:

7/1/2004

Time:

9:24:02 AM

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To Bob's family - Please know that your loss is shared by so many others - people you don't know, but who cherished Bob as a teacher, mentor, friend. Bob's legacy is his attitude - his approach to all of life. This legacy will live on forever, as more and more people pass on the wisdom which he so kindly shared with those of us who were privileged to know - and learn from - this true gentleman. May God bless all of Bob's family and may God welcome Bob into heaven with open arms. Patty Setter

Date:

7/1/2004

Time:

3:10:22 PM

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July 1, 2004 It is hard to believe that Bob Bartholow is gone. He was an institution in his own right -- a bright, rugged, challenging, cheerful, and uplifting presence. I was so honored to know him. As I continue in the joy of working with students at the Adler School, it will be with Bob watching over my shoulder. On Tuesday evening, July 6, we launch a new section of "Introduction to Adlerian Psychology." Bob will be in the room with us -- 511 is still "his class." Bob would not want too many tears shed about his passing. He was more interested in us carrying on the work. In the words of Adler, "The fear of growing old and the fear of death will not terrify the person who is certain of his or her immortality in the form of his or her children and in the consciousness of his or her contribution to the ever-growing culture." So it is with Bob Bartholow. His faith takes him on and his work here continues. Roger Ballou

Date:

7/1/2004

Time:

3:32:50 PM

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Bob taught me a lot when I took classes from him early in the days of the Alfred Adler Institute. Many of his sayings, like "take a whack at it" remain with me to this day. He was also very valuable back then to Dave and I as we worked through some issues in our personal lives. He was a fine person, with a great sense of humor, and will be greatly missed. My condolences go to his family. Pat Mersy

Date:

7/1/2004

Time:

4:56:24 PM

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Bob Bartholow My teacher, my mentor, my brother in masonry and above all, my friend. All praise is due to Allah that included our friendship in the great mystery of lives plan. Nick Boswell

Date:

7/1/2004

Time:

4:57:53 PM

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I'm a proud alum of AGS (1996) and am happy that I had the opportunity to know Bob Bartholow. His death is a great loss to the school and to all who knew him. Patty Setter

Date:

7/2/2004

Time:

12:50:17 PM

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I remember when I met Bob Bartholow. He was my initial instructor and living introduction to Alfred Adler. As we walked down the hallway after the first session, he said to me, "You have a high level of optimism about life, don't you?" I never told him how I grasped his encouragement that night, or how many times I've re-played the tape of his kind words. What seeds of hope we can plant with our words. Bob left us with fields and forests from his. I give God thanks for his life, and pray for comfort for his loved ones and associates. Praise God for Bob Bartholow- Chris Olson

Date:

7/3/2004

Time:

2:39:15 PM

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Bob: A contemplative pause and then “Well . . .” and then the wisdom would follow: The wisdom that had been accumulated through a life of observation, study, discussion, reading, writing, and balance. The wisdom evolved from the stories about your adolescence and the belief that a barber had in you when he sold you -- on credit -- your first accordian. The wisdom evolved from your adventures in the Navy; fishing; beloved best friend and partner, Ruth; family; involvement as a school social worker and private practitioner; a political thinker and activist; “Lindy” dancer. The wisdom of a loyalist to democracy through the study of Adler; an involved member of the North American Society of Adlerian psychology; refurbishing an automobile to tow the boat for “openers”; dedication and adoration and influence of your beloved mother; and your quiet, passionate encouragement of others that moved from words to action through caring and sharing. And then from somewhere deep inside your spirit came the joy of your laughter that filled you, others, and the environment with the joy of living. And I loved the laughter and wisdom and the courage of a lion and the vision of an eagle. We said our final goodbyes at the airport in Myrtle Beach in June. You were dying and knew some things that others need not know and you continued encouraging -- focusing on others. As we parted after our exchange of words of love, you said to me, “Thanks for being so good to me.” Bob, thanks for being good to us -- all of us. Wes Wingett

Date:

7/4/2004

Time:

10:31:02 AM

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Bob's essence will remain in my heart. Through Bob's engaging style of teaching, with humor, respect and his smiling eyes, I embraced the value of "taking a whack". I continue to move my feet and risk imperfection. Thank you, Bob. My thoughts and prayers are with Bob's family. Mary Kay Frye, Adler Graduate

Date:

7/4/2004

Time:

9:00:17 PM

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Bob's passing has left a hole for many Adler students. He certainly touched each of us as we learned the art of "taking a whack at it". At one of my last classes with Bob, in May 2004, he told us he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him for his struggles with cancer. He lived a long a very productive life and touched many, many people. I am going to miss his mischievous grin, and off the wall comments. God broke the mold when he made Bob. Everyone had to love him. Gary Sandberg, current Adler student.

Date:

7/5/2004

Time:

8:24:32 AM

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Bob Bartholow was a truly amazing and inspiring person to all. His unique lifestyle and social interest deeply touched everyone's hearts. He believed in everyone's potential and encouraged them to take a whack at life. It is sad to know that he is not here with us but his spirit remains with us. As an Adlerian student I know that I will apply Adlrian principles to make difference in people's lives. Thank you Bob for teaching us. Sincerely, Patrick Robinson

Date:

7/5/2004

Time:

3:06:51 PM

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My most heartfelt sympathy to Bob's family and my most heartfelt gratitude for having crossed paths with Bob myself at Adler. Although I graduated some years ago, I recently have had the privilege to serve on the Board and re-new contact with Bob in this way. What a gift this has been for me to be inspired all over again by just being around him and be reminded of what it really means to live in the Adlerian way. I am ever grateful for his kindness, support and influence in my life. Virginia Froberg

Date:

7/5/2004

Time:

4:10:48 PM

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As a member of Bob's family. I am overwhelmed by all of these responses. However, he made such an impact on my life that I should not be surprised at his impact on others. I have experienced his zest for life and his sense of humor for over 50 years, yet every time we met was a new experience uniquely Bob. Like all of you, he touched each of us that were close to him in a special way. I am the current custodian of one of Bob's old button boxes. He got me interested in them many years ago, and we had many happy times playing together. It is now my "memory box," and is filled to overflowing. He has left leaving us better and richer people. I don't think he would have asked for more. Thank you all. Hans

Date:

7/5/2004

Time:

8:12:34 PM

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I had to use my calculator to remember the year. . .It had to be 1979. We were at dinner with Kurt Adler, son of the founder of the movement, preceding a celebratory concert of the Minnesota Orchestra, marking their 75th Anniversary. Kurt Adler was in the Twin Cities to present an all-day workshop for the MN Adler Instsitute the following day, and hosting him, even in such grand style, seemed somehow inadequate. Bob, of course, was there, but was somewhat subdued during dinner. As the meal was completing, Bob politely stifled what would surely have been a very large yawn, and said, "Oh, please excuse me, it's been a long day." Dr. Adler replied, with a twinkle that seemed to come from Bob's own inimitable humor, "My goodness, Bob, are you tired? Or, are you tired OF?" If we listen carefully, we can still hear the echo of Bob's laughter, as he was equally good at being the object of humor as the instigator. Thanks to Bob's encouragement and support, Larry became a long-time board member, and I, a volunteer and grateful beneficiary of the healing touch Bob provided for our family. We will miss him deeply, but are very pleased that his legacy will be continued by many, including Stacie, who are his students, protégés, colleagues, family and friends. Larry & Olene Bigelow

Date:

7/5/2004

Time:

8:27:30 PM

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July 5, 2004 Bob Bartholow has had a tremendous influence in my life and practice. His endearing smile and common sense approach to therapy is alive in all of us taught by him. Earlier this year when I was considering the decision to enter private practice, I continually thought of Bob as my mentor. His age, his style, and his graceful logic gave me a rock solid example of a man who made his living doing what he loves. Thank you Bob. I will never forget you. Thomas I. Berscheid, MA, LMFT

Date:

7/6/2004

Time:

11:27:33 AM

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Bob Bartholow's life demonstrated by example the Adlerian principle of Social Interest. He was a delightful instructor with an infectious laugh and a wonderful smile. I am grateful to have had the pleasure of knowing him. Bob will be dearly missed by all... Jacquelyn Merritt

Date:

7/6/2004

Time:

3:12:49 PM

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My first class at Adler was with Bob. I remember that I had "a lot" to contribute (former teacher that I was) & he finally looked up & said, "You know the only difference between her and me is that I'm sitting up here." I was embarrassed but I came to love that teaching grin. I learned to listen & to counsel. He epitomized Adlerian, that is what Bob did. I know Deutsch & loved that he pronounced Adler in the original language. I even shared playing accordion - well, not so gut. When my PT "career" at the school required that I review a couple of classes, the two were from Bob. I told myself it was a way to brush up for the exam. In class I saw the bigger gift in it. I got to experience Bob's wisdom, even more seasoned. And that laugh! A big chortle whenever he got a "kick" out of himself or one of us, & then his hand would come down onto the desk or his knee. He was a reader on my thesis &, though he disliked my medical bent, (It's NOT holistic, Cathi), his conclusion that it was a contribution to the field was a thrill for me. It is not seldom that I think of the mentorship I found in Bob, the "wise guy" as he humbly called himself, who lived Adlerian lifestyle so well. I can't be at the memorial service as my Dad's celebrating 80, but I know Bob would think that is just great. To all his family, know that none of Bob will be lost, though we are feeling sadness now. His spirit lives on and on in so many. Cathi Droz

Date:

7/7/2004

Time:

1:36:26 PM

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Bob B. WAS intro to Adlerian Psych. He knew the concepts well and taught them well. He seemed to remember everyone's name as well as personal details that were shared. His attitude was always positive and encouraging. He will be missed. Tim Kuss, AGS student

Date:

7/7/2004

Time:

1:58:54 PM

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Bob has been my colleague, dear friend and mentor for thirty-five years. As we went through the good times and the challenges at Adler, I could count on being able to share and process or even brainstorm through whatever we were facing. I will always remember with fondness working with Bob on the Administrative Council, working as his assistant dean and working on other committees for many years. He was fun to work with and fun to play with. He lived Adlerian Psychology and loved Adler Graduate School. When the school was threatened he fought to protect it like a father bear protecting its cub. I am sure that he will designate himself as the guardian angel of the Adler Graduate School! I will really miss this very special man. Susan Pye Brokaw

Date:

7/7/2004

Time:

3:20:10 PM

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Bob was my Great Uncle and one of the most inspiring people I have been blessed to know. As an awkward teenager he was an expert at making me feel special when I felt far less. When I didn't feel smart enough, he successfully encouraged me. When I felt unattractive and self-conscious, without telling him how I felt, I conveniently reminded him of a beautiful actress he saw in a movie. Uncle Bob had a magnificent gift in seeing the good in everyone. No matter how "disturbed" or "dysfunctional" a person appeared, he saw worth, purpose and beauty in every life and was the first to point those things out. He was an expert at "don't sweat the little stuff." I will miss him terribly and pray that someday I will succeed in being even half of the beautifully amazing person he was. Laurie

Date:

7/9/2004

Time:

7:46:45 AM

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Bob's vitality is what struck me when I first met him. I would have guessed he was in his sixties and not eighty years old. He became my new "role model." I decided I would love to be teaching and in private practice when I am eighty years old. I was also impressed with his lasting marriage and the fact that he said he gave thanks every day for his wife. He had a knack for making everyone feel special. Sincerely, Janet Rusterholz

Date:

7/9/2004

Time:

8:56:11 AM

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Bob - Thanks for your endearing smile, warm-hearted ways and dedication to something you truly believed in. You found your path during your lifetime and it was so well-lived. We all saw you as a wonderful example of fully living life and being completely present to other humans. I thank you for the gift you gave to each of us as you mentored us in finding our true niche in life. You will always be fondly remembered and honored by many living out their dreams as well. Thank you, Shannon Bonkrude, Professional Life Coach, Children's Counselor

Date:

7/9/2004

Time:

8:31:08 PM

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Bob was a true encourager to all who knew him and I am thankful that I was able to learn from him and be reminded that I am "Good Enough" for today. This song has comforted me I pray that it will also comfort you. The Father's Song: Matt Redman I have heard so many songs Listened to a thousand tongues But there is one That sounds above them all The Father’s song The Father’s love You sung it over me and for eternity It’s written on my heart CHORUS: Heaven’s perfect melody The Creator’s symphony You are singing over me The Father’s song Heaven’s perfect mystery The king of love has sent for me And now you’re singing over me The Father’s song I have heard so many songs Listened to a thousand tongues But there is one That sounds above them all [Sounds above them all] The Father’s song The Father’s love You sung it over me and for eternity It’s written on my heart CHORUS It’s Heaven’s perfect mystery The king of love has sent for me And now you’re singing over me The Father’s song The Father’s song The Father’s love You sung it over me and for eternity It’s written on my heart [It’s written on my heart] The Father’s song The Father’s love You sung it over me and for eternity It’s written on my heart It’s written on my heart You sing it over me Father This song comes from Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." To Bob's family: May you feel the tender, compassionate, comforting heart of the father during the days ahead and know that he sings over you and weeps with you when your hurting. Dawn Ziemer(2003)

Date:

7/12/2004

Time:

6:53:28 PM

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I was 49 years old and starting grad school. I was feeling a little crazy and hesitant about my decision and then I had my first class with Bob. His quote of 'nutty-nonsense' - normalized the process and his instruction and dedication continued to nurture myself and others throughout the classes that followed. He was a humble person who had a wonderful sense of self depreciation which humanized us all. To his family, I just want to say - what a contribution your dad gave us all. He lives on and on ---- each time any of us encourages someone. Pass it on ---- P. Hawver 02

Date:

7/15/2004

Time:

10:49:15 AM

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"We all have our nutty nonsense." Those, and many of Bob's words echo in my heart and mind. His cheery face and disposition will always be remembered. With gratitude, fondness and sadness, Susan Zimmerman, LMFT (1997 Adler Grad)

Date:

8/7/2004

Time:

8:46:48 PM

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Bob's wisdom and patience with all his students was incredible and unforgettable. Early on in the Adler program I found myself striving for perfection and achievement. Bob knew I was involved in the arts and one day after class he cited to me Alfred Adler's quote about artists leading the way to truth for mankind. Rather than pointing out any of the "nutty nonsense" common to over-ambitious graduate students, Bob instead fed us with encouragement and individual understanding, which was the most creative approach to changing behavior I had ever experienced. His wisdom did not go unnoticed. I will refer often to memories of time spent with Bob. Denise Wing

Date:

8/7/2004

Time:

9:09:20 PM

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I had the honors of observing Bob with two of my clients prior to his passing. He was amazing! At the end of the session my client stood up, shook Bob's hand and told him "you are a very wise man, thank you." I agreed with my client. Not only was I in awe at how Bob was able to in a short duration point out how the client viewed himself, his world and his beliefs, I was an awe also of the man that Bob was as a whole. His attitude about life was remarkable. I feel very honored that I was able to work with Bob before his passing. He will greatly be missed. Lori Loncharek

Date:

8/8/2004

Time:

7:16:51 AM

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One thing that stands out for me about Bob was how he referred to his wife, Ruth, in class as his "life partner." He always spoke highly of her as an equal and for whom he held the utmost respect. Bob's philosophy about living life and being "good enough" helped to take the edge off things and allowed me to feel that it was okay to let my guard down and the world would not fall apart. Shortly after Bob passed on, I woke up in the middle of the night worrying about something and then suddenly Bob's words came to me, "it's good enough." It was what I needed at that moment. Bob, your wisdom is coming through loud and clear! Thank you - my life is better for our having crossed paths. --Cindy Anderson

Date:

8/8/2004

Time:

8:59:38 PM

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It was an honor to be taught by Bob. He made my first class at Adler comfortable and gave me hope that I would be able to make it through to the end. Bob was a very caring man who always showed the utmost empathy for anyone that he encountered. I will always be proud to say I knew this great man, as he taught me a everything there is to know about Adlerian theory. Marla Khan

Date:

8/10/2004

Time:

11:53:34 AM

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Bob's enthusiasm, warmth, intelligence and love of Adlerian Psychology was evident from the first time I met him at the Open House for potential students. Once I enrolled, I found him to be ever supportive, optimistic and funny. He was there when I delivered the commencement speech for the graduating class of '04 and for post-graduation supervision. He was always willing to help. What a wonderful legacy to have left behind memories of having touching so many lives in so many ways. To my instructor, mentor and friend -- thank you. Deborah Luther, J.D., M.A.

Date:

8/11/2004

Time:

10:16:55 PM

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What a privilege and blessing to have been trained by one of the great Adlerians, Bob Bartholow. I will always remember his incredible wealth of knowledge and how he lived his Adlerian values by sharing them with everyone lucky enough to have been one of his students. He had the most wonderful twinkle in his eyes when he was going to say something irreverent, perfectly timed to get everyone laughing. Thank you Bob, for being giving, caring and nurturing. You taught me what being an Adlerian truly means. Susan Salzl

Date:

8/16/2004

Time:

1:56:30 PM

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My heart broke with the news of Bob's passing. Like so many others, he was my introduction to Adler and taught me so much more than any text book or lecture could provide. I adored his humor, his humility and his warmth. I feel very lucky that I was able to spend a week with him at ICASSI in the summer of 1997 in Austria. The best way to describe how encouraging and wonderful he was, was the way he introduced me to other world renowned Adlerians in the field, "This is my colleague Stacy." I, as a inferior, young graduate student was stupefied that he introduced me that way, and let alone thought of me that way. From that small sentence he helped me feel worthy of his company and his profession. I'll never forget our daily beers we had after class in Austria and how easy it was to be with him. I couldn't wait to be just like him! I hope that I can honor him by demonstrating encouragement, the courage to be imperfect and to take a "whack" out of life. He was such a lovely man. My heartfelt sympathies go out to his family and to the entire Adlerian family that are grieving this huge loss. Warmly, Stacy (Orfield) Saindon-Alumni of 1998

Date:

8/17/2004

Time:

7:28:48 PM

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I will never forget the enjoyment Bob got in visiting my internship site with youths given the label of "at risk". One of the learners, upon learning my supervisor was coming to visit with us, baked a tiny cake for him in her vocational class. She could not have chosen a better person to honor with her creativity. Being one of Bob's students and supervisee's has impacted the quality of my work and my life. Thank you Bob, what you have shared will be with us always. M Dahnert ('98)

Date:

8/24/2004

Time:

3:01:33 PM

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Bob- I will always remember your magical humor, compassion, kindness and positive regard. It is hard to believe that you are not present, your boundless energy, endless sunshine beyond the world around. Never a cross word did you ever speak except towards scathing comments concerning Adler, the great philosopher. You, who lived and breathed the teachings of Adler, were never meant to fade so quickly. Yet, your memories continuously touch us all,so that we can instruct the next generation in the same tradition. We miss you greatly, Margie Tomsic

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